(An Ode To The Cult Of Celebrity) – Colm Kavanagh

grimArklow man Colm Kavanagh put pen to paper on Christmas eve following a shocking year of celebrity deaths, it seems the Grim Reaper has not finished yet with the announcement that George Michael passed away on Christmas day, Liz Smith of Royle Family fame on St. Stephen’s day and now to cap it all Star Wars Princess Leia, Carrie Fisher.

With still a few days to go to 2017 the celebrities are not safe yet.


(An Ode To The Cult Of Celebrity)

Two thousand and sixteen
The year of celeb death
The end for so many
Drawin’ their last breath

A sad start to the year
Hearin’ he was a goner
Still what a great two iron
The legend, Christy O’Connor

The Black Star descended
On January 8
Two days followed
Bowie became “the late….”

Four days later
Death once more cast its cape
Removing from Hogwarts
The potions master, Professor Snape

Meanwhile back home
From the corridor of power
PJ Mara, a former Press Sec to Charlie
Saw his final hour

Not a week later
Don’t say we didn’t warn yer
Glenn Frey aged just 67
No more Hotel California

Colin Vearncombe
Better known to all as Black
Singer of the song “Wonderful Life”
Car crash, Cork – ain’t no craic

A horrible month January
Let’s be utterly frank
Poor Terry Wogan
Bye bye Mr. Blankety Blank

The death of George Redmond
Although at 92, quite an age
Memories of the Mahon Tribunal
And a nation’s rage

To Kill A Mockingbird
A tale of racial disharmony
We said goodbye in February
To its author, Nelle Harper Lee

Saddest of all
A nation cried
The day we found out
Fr. Jack Hackett had died

The former First Lady Nancy Reagan
Once down the street in Ballyporeen she did go
But here in the month of March
Zammo’s reaction, “just say no!”

The legend producing the Beatles
A musical genius he did forge
Time to let it be
The legendary Sir George

A magician of renown
Known for his humour
On Paddy’s Day of all days
Paul Daniels, brain tumour

The jersey it was Orange
The number on the back fourteen
His name Johan Cruyff
The greatest footballer ever seen

“It’s goodnight from me
And it’s goodnight from him”
For littl’ ol’ Ronnie Corbett
The lights they went dim

Found dead in a London hotel
Yer man David Gest
Didn’t know much about him
Plastic surgery not really the best

Finding fame as a stand-up comedienne
Genuinely rather good
A world again saddened
Goodbye Victoria Wood

Twenty four hours later
We cried, “oh not again”
A sign o’ the times
No more purple rain

Over in West Wickla
A former President of the GAA
Mr. Jack Boothman
Sadly passed away

She famously wrote The Liver Birds
Butterflies and Bread
But on the last day in May
Carla Lane was dead

He floated like a butterfly
And he stung like a bee
But the world said farewell to Ali
Phoenix Arizona June 3

Mr. Chekov, from Trekkie
Checked out in late June
A freak accident
Boldly gone to the moon

Tears in July
For “Our Denise”
Long live the Royle Family
Caroline Aherne, rest in peace

Even Postman Pat
Could not remain unaffected
For the voice of the show
Ken Barrie (83) we genuflected

Dalian Atkinson
So young we were amazed
Such a shock, dying in the street
The wrong end of being tazed

Once Minister for Foreign Affairs
In retirement down by the Lee
Goodnight Peter Barry
The family still making the tea

Make a wish, count to three
Untold sadness on the big screen
A world of pure imagination
Rest in peace, Mr. Wilder, Gene

As September’s end loomed
We knew he was ill
But for commentator David Coleman
It would end at 1-0

Bobby Molloy, his biggest folly
One of the famous 22
Supporting George Colley
Two fingers to Charlie, “I outlasted you!”

On the banks of the Shannon
Munster, one of their own, did mourn
The legend of Axel Foley
As visiting Glaswegians asunder and torn

Careless Hands he was known
Gary Sprake, his goalkeeping deeds
But we all knew him
As keeper at Dirty Leeds

He spun us ‘round like a record
He really was like no other
Pete Burns, Dead or Alive
Celebrity Big Brother

Best known for Hallelujah
His legend still a growin’
The world doffed its cap
Upon his death, Leonard Cohen

On that very same day
Another great actor to mourn
Goodbye Napoleon Solo
The great Robert Vaughn

The funny Spanish waiter
We loved him as Manuel
Andrew Sachs, not from Barcelona
We raise a glass of San Miguel

Actor Peter Vaughan
Famous in Porridge as Harry Grout
Maester Aemon in Thrones
In December the lights went out

Up to the heavens they looked
An era when men were men
The first American to orbit the Earth
Adieu, John Glenn

Arguably under the weather
Even missing a hurricane
The spectacled Ian McCaskill
We’ll not see your likes again

Announcing “the full English”
Terminally ill
We said goodbye
To food critic AA Gill

Speaking of Hungary
Married once, perhaps eight time more
A Hollywood legend, dahlings
The end, Zsa Zsa Gabor

Down down deeper and down
As Christmas we’re about to hit
He’ll rock no more all over the world
Stunned, RIP Rick Parfitt

As the curtain falls
A dreadful year in all
Celebs must be wondering
Time yet, for the Reaper to call…

We have breaking news
Hold the front page
Another celeb death
It’s all the rage

Hot off the press, Christmas Day
Hitting us like……BAM!
Holy mother of f**k
George Michael, Wham!

Sadly, more new from the Royle’s
The Queen of Sheeba’s no more
Fond farewell we send
As Liz Smith ends her final encore

The Force, where once strong
Has taken from us Princess Leia
So much for it being a Merry Chrimbo
Sod off 2016, roll on new year.

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